Purple flowers wall

Moving away from bedsharing

Vanessa: Here is some advice I gave a friend recently. She was having trouble with her bedsharing baby waking up every 45 mins.

Ok here it goes. A few ideas:
1) Look deep into your heart. Is it the lack of sleep that is making you irritable? Is everything else okay? I’m not saying that being up every hour is not a reason for your being stressed – I have been there, not long ago. But you may want to start with this.

2) What happens usually when your son wakes up? Does your partner wake up too or continues sleeping? I remember feeling very frustrated because my boyfriend never woke up, and sometimes I would wake him up so I would feel less lonely.

3) We all know it’s more than just the night feeds, right? It’s not comfortable to try and sleep with your arm up while another little human chews on your body. :-)

Here are a few things I tried. They all worked like half the time.

a) If you have a side car bed, have your partner sleep between you and baby, and if you don’t, push the bed against the wall so your partner can be in the middle and baby next to the wall. Make it safe. If baby can’t smell you so easily, he will maybe wake up less.

b) Have your partner take the baby. Between 8 months and 1 year, if Julia woke up less than 2 hours after being fed, my boyfriend would have her. It took us some time to find a way for her not to cry, and we found out that dim lighted TV on a boring channel works best. I know TV is bad for babies, but this is what worked, and it is better than letting her cry or anything else.

c) Protein before bedtime (If the baby is old enough). Before bedtime, Julia would eat a cup of greek yogurt and it did make her 1st sleep longer…

Hmm what else… nothing more. Just a lot of hugs. I know EXACTLY what it is to have a baby wake up every hour, and having to work in the morning. I know EXACTLY what if feels to want to change things dramatically so we can get some freakin sleep. Julia is partially night weaned now (19 months). She sleeps with her dad in another room, and if she wakes up and calls for me, they both get back to my bed. It’s not a strict thing, every day is different, and I miss sleeping with both of them a lot, but if that works for you, try and have your partner sleep with the baby and bring him to you when he wakes up to feed, which maybe can happen less if you are in a different room.

I don’t know the first thing about sleep training, but here is my advice. Take a break for a couple of days and try something, even if you are afraid that the baby may cry, he may end up surprising you! Good luck, and lots of hugs <3