Will I make a rod for my own back?


Things change and children grow up. Don’t worry, you will not make a rod for your back.

The detailed answer:

You may hear people saying that babies should sleep alone from a young age, otherwise you will make a rod for your own back.

This seems to come from people not wanting to spoil the baby and end up with a handful. But a lot of people agree now that if the baby feels safe and looked after, they are often much easier to deal with as time goes by.

There also seems to be a real fear of bedsharing amongst many parents. Not just for safety reasons (although that exists too), but because they hear stories of children who bedshared with their parents until 6 or 7.

Although these children do exist, usually they are very happy children, and the parents are happy with the situation too! But in a more common scenario, the majority of children who do share a family bed with their parents (and siblings) usually choose to sleep alone around the age of 3 or 4.

From an evolutionary perspective, young children do need to sleep near their parents, and will move away as they grown in independence. When older children do still want to sleep in their parents’ bed, there are often other issues at play, usually to do with a lack of feeling of connection with their parents, which can be resolved through daytime activities, rather than imposing a ban on bedsharing at night.

Either way, rest assured you will not end up with a 15-year-old in your bed if you let your baby sleep with you.

In the same way, any effort you put in to soothing the baby now will pay off later, as a secure child will be less likely to play up, and will often end up less clingy or attention seeking. You won’t have to soothe them to sleep for long, and it’s worth it.

Read more here:

Why I believe in nighttime parenting by Meagan Francis

I still sleep with my 6 year old by Michelle Horton